kenjexpressingherself











{February 2, 2012}   Why commit if you still want to step out?

Question people: what is the purpose of committing yourself to someone when you are only going to step out on them? I have seen this time and time again and honestly I’m one that is sick of it…many believe it is not a problem to have someone outside of their relationship. You get responses like “it’s not like I’ll get caught,” or “long as he/she don’t know we good.” Really? How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Many times when that does happen you’re pissed and want to know why they did it to you? It’s not fun then. I don’t get it but I guess I never will. I see it as “having your cake and eating it too…” This saying means you think you have the best of both worlds. You have your significant other at home that you “love” and “can’t live without’ but at the same time you have your “dessert” outside home. The ones that are hurt in the situation:

The significant other (husband, wife, girl/boyfriend): they think they have the best relationship in the world and are naive to the fact that they are being cheated on. In the end when they find out, they are hurt but since they’ve put “time” in they stay…

The “dessert”: you reap all the benefits of the significant other (wine and dine, shopping, intimacy), but only in disclosed locations. Are you ever out in public in the area where you both live? What are you referred to b/c you are not “the one?” At the end of the day, they go home to their significant other and you are all alone…back to square one. This eventually gets old…

 

This type of situation sucks. I hate it with a passion. I really wish they could see the damage they do to the people they are involed with. In the end, as I’ve always been told: what goes on in the dark will come to light…think about it.

 

*Give me some feedback on what you think…have you dealt with this? Do you think it’s right?*

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Ruffian Payton says:

Personally I feel that it is wrong. But it can’t be one sided. It has to be looked at from both sides of the fence. As a women married men always try to talk to me. I feel like its up to me to say yes or no. Once I say either one that response will determine how far he can go. If I say no then he can do nothing but walk away. If I say yes then that allows a door to open for him to walk right into ny life. So once u let that person in then its not only him its you as well that’s doing wrong.



Thanks Ruffian for your response. I agree with you wholeheartedly. It’s not a one-sided thing every angle has to be considered. It sucks but it is so true…



Constance says:

Interesting! I agree with both of you!! You definitely reap what you sow.

Congrats Bestie!! I wish you much success with your blog!

Luv Ya!
Constance



Thanks so much bestie!!!! You guys keep me encouraged!!! We’re on our way to the top!!!! Love you too!!!!



Sherox74 says:

I totally agree with Ruff, everyone involved in the situation gets hurt or damaged. Its not a healthy situation for either party. If your married you have to come to terms that it is not ur fault if the other person wants to step outside the marriage. AS Women We tend to blame ourselves. We have to understand that this is that other persons issue. and if the other party wants to participate that is their issue to.



Nikki I agree with you girls as well. I’ve been here and I hate I did it b/c I was hurt in the end. But they never fully understand where we’re coming from when the situation arises. They’ll say something like well you can always stop but of course it’s never easy. I promise it will never happen again though…thanks Nikki for your feedback!!! 🙂 it means a lot!!!!



I think its dead wrong! lol Whether you are in a great relationship or a horrible one, if you feel the need to be with someone else, just end the relationship. The person you are in the relationship with will more than likely prefer this too. Then everybody is happy!! (somewhat) But I’m with you, what’s done in the dark will come to light. And of course what goes around comes around, so be prepared for the consequences.



There we have it!!!!! Thanks for the response OaToya!!!! I really appreciate your input!!!!



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